


Pepper's Year of Living Dangerously

by heyjupiter



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fanmix, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 07:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's not like Pepper minds classic rock or anything, but when she works out, she usually prefers music with a little more... pep. But when Pepper's alone on the treadmill with nothing but her workout playlist to occupy her mind, sometimes she finds herself relating to cheesy pop lyrics a little too much.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>A fanmix + ficlets set to Pepper Potts's workout music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pepper's Year of Living Dangerously

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my own tendency to turn all the ridic pop music I listen to into OTP/OT3 songs. Thanks to tarajuku for looking this over and agreeing that the Scissor Sisters were totally writing about Bruce Banner.

Every year since she started working for Stark Industries, Pepper Potts has made just one New Year's Resolution: _Do not let Tony Stark ruin my life._

A big part of that resolution involves carving out time for herself, which usually means the gym. Tony rarely sets foot near the treadmill. Besides, the exercise is good for her stress levels and for making sure she still fits into the designer clothing she's bought with Stark money.

So New Year's Eve morning, like every morning, she gets out of bed early and heads down to the gym, making sure the treadmill and her Stark MP3 player are programmed just the way she likes them. It's not like Pepper minds classic rock or anything, but when she works out, she usually prefers music with a little more... pep. But when Pepper's alone on the treadmill with nothing but her workout playlist to occupy her mind, sometimes she finds herself relating to cheesy pop lyrics a little too much.

***

[](http://frowl.org/heyjupiter/year.zip) [](http://frowl.org/heyjupiter/year.zip)   
[Right click + Save to Download](http://frowl.org/heyjupiter/year.zip)

***

ABBA - Under Attack  
 _Under attack, I'm being taken_  
About to crack, defences breaking  
Won't somebody please have a heart  
Come and rescue me now, 'cause I'm falling apart

Pepper Potts was furious that she had to find out about Tony's disappearance from a Google Alert. She was Tony's personal assistant. Shouldn't somebody have called her? Who was she going to assist if Tony was--well, they hadn't found a body, so--so surely they were out looking for him, surely Tony would be fine, surely Tony would be back in time for his meeting with Kazuo Hirai on Thursday, and so she carried on making sure that everything would be ready for them. It wasn't until she was in the shower without her phone and computer to distract her that Pepper's resolve cracked. She wept under the hot water even as she tried to remember what Mr. Hirai's favorite drink was.

***

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger  
 _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger_  
Just me, myself and I  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller

A month after Tony's disappearance she stopped expecting him to be sitting at his desk, but it still surprised her to see Obadiah there one morning. "Ah, Miss Potts," he said. "I need to know where the notes are from Tony's last meeting with the DOD."

Numbly, she pulled up the directory off the network drive. "It's encrypted. Do you know the key?"

"For heaven's sake," Obadiah said impatiently, "I'm sure I can figure it out. That will be all, Miss Potts."

Pepper shrugs and retreats, taking only the smallest glimmer of pleasure in imagining him trying to decrypt it. Tony'd explained to her how it worked. At the time she didn't really care, but she'd been proud that a genius like Tony would even try to explain it to her. Now, though, she knew exactly how strong Tony's security is, and she predicted Stane would be calling her back in there within the next ten minutes.

***

La Roux - Bulletproof  
 _Been there, done that messed around_  
I'm having fun, don't put me down  
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet  
This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof

She didn't think working for Tony Stark was going to be easy or anything, but she never expected him to come home with bullet holes. She never expected to _care_ so much if he did. Pepper was a good person; she'd like to think she'd care if anyone she knew put on a robot suit and got shot at. But the truth was, she cared more that it was Tony. And it was idiotic--he wasn't just her _boss_ , he was _Tony Stark_ , and he could have any woman (or man, or robot, who knows?) he wanted. In order to do her job, Pepper had forced herself to build up armor against Tony's charms. But here in the basement, watching her boss clamber out of a metal suit that had seen some damage, she was again reminded that she wasn't as bulletproof as she'd hoped.

***

Selena Gomez & The Scene - Whiplash  
 _I think we got enough to lose_  
So don't look back,  
Or else we're gonna crash  
And get whiplash, whiplash, whiplash

Pepper Potts was tired of this. Being Tony Stark's assistant was bad enough, but now she was supposed to not only be CEO of Stark Industries, but also assistant to Iron Man? Now there was someone else running around with fancy technology and delusions? They were calling him "Whiplash" in the news but Pepper just thought of him as a nightmare. It didn't seem like that long ago that her biggest fear was that Tony would drunkenly embarrass the company. Now... she still had that fear, but Tony could also drunkenly put on the Iron Man suit and get in a fight with a guy with an electric whip.

***

Madonna - Rescue Me  
 _Rescue me (rescue me, it's hard to believe)_  
Your love has given me hope  
Rescue me (rescue me, it's hard to believe)  
I'm drowning, baby, throw out your rope

Of _course_ Tony had been dying. When Pepper first started working for Tony she bent over backwards trying to rationalize his self-destructive behavior. Eventually she'd gotten tired of it and was a little less inclined to give Tony the benefit of the doubt. And then he'd had the balls to tell her not to be mad at him for not mentioning it sooner?

But now Tony _wasn't_ dying, or at least not so immediately as he had been before.  
If Pepper survived this night, she was _quitting_. Not only had Tony been secretly dying, but also he'd made her CEO of this stupid company and left her to call the police when Hammer's stupid drones started attacking?

She would quit, and she would get a job at some normal company. Microsoft, maybe. Or Groupon. Groupon seemed like a fun place to work. Her resume was very impressive--the jump from personal assistant to CEO was a big one. She was sure it would be easy to explain why she quit. Tony Stark's reputation spoke for itself. Yes. Just as soon as she got out of here, she was going to upload her resume to Monster.com.

Then Iron Man appeared, back from saving the world. Pepper was going to give him a piece of her mind.

***

Ke$ha - Die Young  
 _I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums_  
Oh what a shame that you came here with someone  
So while you're here in my arms,  
Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young 

"I can't believe you were going to tell me you were dying over that gross omelet."

"As it turns out, only the good die young," Tony said.

She rolled her eyes. "You'll live forever, then."

He kissed her (and it wasn't weird) and said, "Then you have to live forever, too."

"Fine," she said. "Can we get off this roof now?"

***

Kelly Clarkson - Einstein  
 _I didn't get it the first time_  
But don't think I've been so blind  
And I may not be Einstein but I know  
Dumb plus dumb equals you

Being with Tony Stark has always required Pepper to be extremely flexible (in multiple senses of the word). She never minded when other girls caught his eye at parties or press conferences or wherever. Tony needed variety, but Pepper knew he needed her most of all. She knew he'd be back after fulfilling a momentary desire. But Bruce Banner was more than a passing fling. Bruce and Tony connected on a level that Pepper couldn't reach. Watching them gaze at each other over equations she'd never understand stung more than any of the supermodels Tony had been with.

***

Scissor Sisters - Best in Me  
 _You take away my insecurities_  
You make a day go by just like the breeze  
I must confess the mess I may reveal  
I’m half the man that you make me feel  
You know how to find the best in me  
You keep bringing out the best in me

The thing of it was that Pepper found it impossible not to like Bruce. One night she brought him dinner in the lab. Tony was away on business and Bruce wasn't good at remembering things like food. (Neither was Tony, really, but JARVIS kept a better eye on Tony.)

Bruce looked up at her over his glasses, surprise plainly written on his face. "Thank you," he said, and meant it.

"You're welcome," she said. She lingered in the lab for a moment. She said, "I think it's good for Tony that you're here."

Bruce laughed but it sounded so sad. "No, it's terrible for Tony that I'm here. It's terrible for both of you. I should have already left."

"No! Don't," Pepper said. "We like having you here."

Bruce looked down at the plate of broccoli tofu for a long moment and then back up at Pepper. "Tony told me that you bring out the best in people because you assume the best of them."

"Well, Tony is a genius," Pepper replied.

***

La Roux - Armour Love  
 _You pull on your Armour_  
You put up defences  
Why do you want to?  
Because I'm here to protect you

When Pepper woke up, Tony was sprawled over most of the bed and Bruce was gone. She felt oddly lonely. She'd never really expected to find herself in a threesome, but she wasn't going to act like she hadn't enjoyed it. She wasn't going to act like she didn't care for Bruce. How could she not? She looked at the room's informational display. It was still early, not yet 7am. The forecast called for clouds. Softly, she said, "JARVIS, where's Bruce?"

"Dr. Banner is in his bedroom, Ms. Potts," JARVIS answered, matching her quiet tone. Despite the low volume, Tony rolled over and blinked at her. He was a light sleeper, but not a morning person.

"So that was something, huh?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yeah, it was."

"So... what do you want to do today?" He leered, then looked around and frowns. "Where's the big guy?"

JARVIS said, "It appears that Dr. Banner is packing, sir."

Tony said, "God, what a drama queen. It wasn't that bad, right? I mean, I thought it was pretty great."

Pepper snorted--like Tony was one to call anyone a "drama queen"--and said, "I don't think his last relationship ended... well."

Tony considered and said, "But this is different."

Pepper silently reminded herself loving Tony means loving him even when he's being an idiot and said, "Let me go make sure he understands that."

***

Scissor Sisters - Self Control  
 _A little death is better with_  
Somebody at your side  
You need  
Self control

Tony, never one to avoid an awkward subject, said, "So you've never Hulked out during sex, have you?"

Pepper's eyes widened, but she was curious, too. For all the times she's had to clean up after Tony's tactlessness, she did occasionally benefit from it. She trusted Bruce and knew he wouldn't have gotten into bed with them if he didn't think he could do it, but... has he ever? How horrible.

Bruce gave the resigned laugh he produced whenever Tony asked anything uncomfortable and said, "No."

"No? No near misses or anything?" He was studying Bruce with sharp-eyed curiosity. Pepper wanted to take Bruce's hand, but she didn't want to seem patronizing. She settled for smiling at him.

Bruce sighed. "There was... it took me some time to understand how it all worked. I used to think the change happened if my heart rate got too high, and I was afraid..."

"Afraid you could only have slow-mo sex?" Tony asked.

"Or none," Bruce said, with a shrug. "But, uh, it turns out it's not really based on heart rate. Or not heart rate alone."

"And thank God for that," Tony said cheerfully.

***

Robyn - Indestructible  
 _But I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before_  
I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible  
Your love is ultra magnetic and it's taking over  
This is hardcore and I'm indestructible  


They were at a gala fundraiser for a malaria foundation. It was the kind of thing Tony normally declined, but Bruce had seen the invitation and been excited about it. Bruce asked for so few things that Tony and Pepper were both delighted to comply whenever he so much as hinted at wanting to do anything. Pepper was drinking champagne and checking her email on her phone. Satisfied that there was nothing too urgent in her inbox, she glanced around the room. Tony was dancing with some sweet young thing. The last time she'd seen Bruce, he'd been deep in conversation with Bill Gates, but she saw Bill dancing with Melinda. Bruce was... right next to her with a glass of water and a pensive expression.

"How do you like the party?" she asked.

He lifted his eyebrows and shrugged. "It seems like it would raise more money for charity if everybody just ate pizza in a high school gym or something."

Pepper said, "But then we'd all be so overdressed."

Bruce looked down at his tux, as if it's the first time he's noticed what he's wearing, and said, "Hmm."

"I guess you'd be fine with that, huh?"

He said, "I just never know what to... Betty always used to pick out..." His grip tightened on his glass and she heard his breath quicken.

"Bruce," she said, soothingly.

"I'm fine. I--I'm fine. It was a long time ago," he said, and sips his water.

"Well. Seems a shame to waste these nice outfits," Pepper said. She put her phone back in her clutch and offered her arm to Bruce. "Shall we dance?"

Bruce gave her the look that meant he wanted something and said, "You're right, it _would_ be a shame to waste these clothes."

***

Ke$ha - We R Who We R  
 _Tonight, we're going hard, hard, h-h-hard_  
Just like the world is ours, ours, o-o-ours  
We're tearing it apart, part, p-p-part  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are

Tony and Bruce both insisted they were fine, but neither seemed to mind too much if Pepper fussed over them. She knew avenging things was especially draining for Bruce even if he was physically fine, and she settled behind him to rub his shoulders. Tony said, "Hey JARVIS, show us some news footage."

Bruce sighed, and Tony said, "I just want to see how the new suit looks on TV."

"It looked great," Pepper said. "Very shiny."

The room's smart wall came to life and JARVIS dutifully projected every news station's coverage of the day's battle, Avengers vs some idiot mad scientist. Tony's eyes flicked between every channel. Bruce mostly looked down at his lap.

Pepper said, "The news said pretty much all of the civilians were evacuated before the, you know, explosions even started."

"Pretty much?" Bruce said.

Tony said, "Not this again, Banner. We absolutely saved as many people as we could. The people of Washington DC are better off with you as an Avenger than they would be with you off in a jungle somewhere."

Bruce said, "Okay."

JARVIS, still showing news footage, said, "Ms. Potts, I believe the food you ordered is here."

"Hmm, send it up to the dining room on the 99th floor," she said. "Make sure to tip them well, JARVIS. I figured everyone would be hungry."

Down on the 99th floor, three people were struggling to carry all the containers of schawarma, falafel, pitas, and various sauces. She smiled and thanked them, and they left before learning that their customers were none other than Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

Thor walked in and eyed the spread appreciatively. He said, "Delicious! I have a warrior's hunger. Is there any of the creamy white sauce?"

Pepper rummaged among the cartons and gave Thor a couple tziki sauces in exchange for a huge smile and verbose thanks. She said, "No problem. Thanks for saving Earth, Thor."

Before long, everyone else had filed into the room. Everyone had more or less had a chance to shower and decompress a bit. Only Thor and Tony actually seemed cheerful, but they were all fairly unscathed and extremely hungry. Pepper sipped her diet Coke and watched them eat. When she'd first started working for Stark Industries, she'd often gotten lunch for Tony, who took about a year to actually learn her name. Now she's CEO of Stark Industries and ordering dinner for superheroes.

Tony caught her eye and says, "Pepper, you're not eating. You want some hummus? You like hummus, right? Here."

"Thanks," she said. She did like hummus, and she liked, her life despite--or because of--how weird it has become.

***

The treadmill beeps and Pepper finishes her cool-down period. The treadmill gives her a detailed statistical readout, which she ignores. She showers and heads back up to Tony's suite. Bruce is reading the paper and Tony is still sleepily curled against Bruce.

"Jeeze, Pepper, you work out _every morning_ ," Tony mumbles. "Why don't you ever sleep in? You know, live dangerously?"

Pepper raises her eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure I do more than enough living dangerously."

"That's a fair point," Bruce says, without looking up from his newspaper.

"Still," Tony says. "It's New Year's Eve. You should resolve to work out less next year."

"Oh, sure," Pepper says. "I'll do that if you resolve to spend less time working in the lab."

Tony pauses. "Which lab?"

"Now who's living dangerously?" Pepper asks. She climbs back into bed and reaffirms her resolution not to let Tony Stark ruin her life.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Plus Two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055251) by [celeste9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9)




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